Sometimes the story of workplace discrimination isn't about dramatic confrontations or obvious bias – it's about the slow erosion of value, the subtle shift from being seen as an asset to being viewed as a threat, and the perfect storm that happens when hormonal health challenges collide with workplace politics. The Rise: Building a Career When I started at the automotive dealership in March 2008, I was hired as an HR and payroll assistant. Within a year, I had proven myself valuable enough to become the full-time Payroll Administrator and HR Assistant. Over the years, I watched and contributed as our employee base grew from 220 to over 350 across multiple locations. I loved my job – not just for the work itself, but for my co-workers and the HR director who helped me grow into the role. The complexity of our work was significant: managing payroll exceeding a million dollars 24 times a year, handling benefits, leave administration, policies, workers' compensation, and 401k audits. Yet, our HR department was perpetually understaffed and underfunded, operating under the tight control of a CFO whose primary concern seemed to be maximizing his own annual bonus. The First Cracks: COVID and Mental Health The COVID shutdown became the first major test of our department's resilience. While other employees were "kept whole" during the shutdown, our three-person HR team was expected to work from home using our own equipment – with no additional compensation, no bonuses, and no recognition. Meanwhile, the CFO received his largest bonus ever at the end of 2020. It was during this period that I began struggling mentally. In one particularly telling incident, I was publicly reprimanded during a team conference call for allegedly not returning a manager's call – despite no evidence of a missed voicemail. When I vocalized my mental health struggles to my boss, the response was deafening silence. No mention of leave options, no understanding, nothing. Just crickets. The Turning Point: Experience Becomes a Threat The real shift came with a series of personnel changes that would ultimately spell the end of my career there. Our third team member left after being denied a raise – despite managing million-dollar payrolls for just $16.50 an hour, less than what fast-food workers were making. Her replacement, though struggling with basic Excel skills crucial for payroll processing, had other qualities that seemed to matter more: she was tall, thin, wore high heels, and quickly became the CFO's favorite. When our HR director was suddenly fired, this same person – with zero HR experience – was instantly promoted to become the highest-paid HR director in the dealership's history. Her best friend was brought in as payroll administrator at a higher salary than mine, despite my years of experience and institutional knowledge. When I questioned this disparity, I was told dismissively that it was "none of my business" and justified with "She's a single mother of 4!" The irony was stinging – I too had raised four children as a single mother while building my career there, yet this fact had never warranted consideration during my years of service. It was a perfect example of how personal circumstances could be wielded selectively as justification when convenient, while being completely ignored when not. The Fall: When Hormones Meet Hostility I felt the target on my back immediately. My years of experience and knowledge had transformed from an asset into a threat to someone who didn't want to compete with expertise she didn't possess. The emotional toll was overwhelming, amplified by hormonal challenges that made it increasingly difficult to maintain composure. When I broke down crying in frustration at all of these new changes, I just had to leave work, texting my new "boss" to let her know, the response was not concern or support – it was criticism of my "attitude." Never once was there an attempt to understand my perspective, no mention of FMLA (which I qualified for), no discussion of accommodation or support. In a moment of raw frustration, I told her, "I'm sorry I can't keep it together and be more of a robot like you." (I even made robotic gestures.) Perhaps not my finest moment, but it was an honest reaction to the complete lack of empathy or understanding. Within 30 days of her promotion, I was terminated from my position of 14 years. The Aftermath: A Year to Heal It took nearly a year to decompress from this experience and find my new direction. Looking back, I can see how my story isn't just about workplace politics or bad management – it's about the perfect storm that happens when hormonal health challenges collide with a toxic work environment. When your body and brain are already fighting their own battles, every workplace slight, every instance of unfairness, every moment of disrespect becomes magnified. To verify my feelings in this situation, even without the hormonal magnification, these “slights” were mean, unethical and uncalled for. The truth is, my inability to "keep it together" wasn't weakness – it was my body and mind telling me something was deeply wrong, both with my hormonal health and with my workplace environment. But in a world where women's health issues are often dismissed or ignored, these valid concerns were twisted into justification for pushing me out. The Lesson: The Hidden Cost of Ignoring Women's Health My story illustrates a broader truth about women's health in the workplace: when companies fail to understand and accommodate the very real challenges of hormonal health issues, they don't just lose employees – they lose years of experience, institutional knowledge, and proven capability. They lose the very people who could be leading their organizations forward, all because they're unwilling to provide basic understanding and support during critical health transitions.
It shouldn't take losing a 14-year career to realize that something needs to change in how workplaces handle women's health issues. But until it does change, we need to keep telling these stories, keep advocating for better understanding, and keep supporting each other through these challenges. ***Your experience matters. Your health matters. And no one should have to choose between their wellbeing and their career. I would love to hear your stories. How has menopause affected your career?
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