Hi Ladies!
As you know, I research and educate myself in order to share this knowledge with you: All things Menopause. This wasn't something that was talked about in our previous generations, but now more than ever, we NEED to talk about it! This really isn't something that we should just accept as a normal part of our aging process! I mean, it's certainly normal. But we do not need to accept the feeling that this is our new normal. There are things we can do, simple things, that will make a huge difference in how we manage our symptoms, without letting them take over who we are: Fierce! I've created a survey (link here). It's literally 5 questions, and two minutes of your time. The information you provide will help me curate educational posts that will help spread the word on various menopause topics. The survey will be open beginning 4/17 and closing at 6:00 pm on 4/24. I will publish the results after the survey closes. If you join my email list, you'll be sure to receive notification that results have been posted. Please share this survey with your gal pals! And you know, my main goal here is to educate. But my secondary goal is to build a community of women who learn and support one another, not just in menopause, but in all areas of our Super Midlife. We can come together to discuss topics such as: Adult children Grandchildren Aging parents Careers Relationships And all of the other things that keep us busy and out of trouble! I sincerely hope you join me, here on the blog, on Facebook, our private Facebook Group, Instagram and on YouTube! Don't forget to click the link to give your survey answers. I very much appreciate it!! Love, Ruby
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Feel like perhaps you need a life coach? Or a therapist?
It’s normal. I’d love to have a therapist on-call! One that I could text, or dial up, at a moment’s notice, to complain about my inability to concentrate, my IBS, my lack of drive and excitement, the horrid night sweats! And Oh! So many, many other things! I’d received some pajamas from my hubby. Cooling, bamboo pajamas. They work very well at wicking away the moisture from your over-heated body, allowing it to breathe. They’re a little on the pricey side, but worth it. I’ve also resorted to buying bulk men’s tees so that I can change several times a night without having to do laundry every single day to keep up with these middle-of-the-night wardrobe changes. This fresh from the fires of hell symptom, along with all of the other menopause crap that I survive with every day (albeit, sometimes not very well) have led me down a path. A path of research to help me understand the How’s and Why’s of menopause symptoms – and how best to fix them! We do not want this to be the new norm! VMS: Vasomotor Symptoms vasomotoradjectiveva·so·mo·tor ˌvā-zə-ˈmō-tər : of, relating to, or being nerves or the centers (as in the medulla oblongata or spinal cord) from which they arise that regulate the amount of blood passing to a particular body part or organ by controlling the internal diameter of blood vessels https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/vasomotor Say what? Here’s an infographic that should explain it nicely…. It's only January 8th... This time of year, for me, just drags. It's because it's so cold and colorless. I prefer warmth on my skin, sunshine and lots of colors... green grass, colorful flowers, blue water.... But ladies, I found something that, very seriously, helps me get through these slumpy, gray days. About two years ago, I tried the Olly Hello Happy! gummy worms to see if they would help me get through the afternoon slump at the office. It never failed. Two o'clock would come and I would always feel drowsy to the point where I was constantly distracted and dozing off at my desk. The gummy worms helped! Noticeably! It's not like a hit of caffeine. It's like the package says: "...for an upbeat mood". I was finally able to get through an afternoon! And no crash! They worked well enough for me that I now take them occasionally when I'm feeling down, or when I have something I need to do that I'm not reallly looking forward to or just don't have enough energy to finish my chore list. These contain Vitamin D - so there's your shot of sunshine! And Saffron: just to help boost your seratonin. A pretty package, fun gummy worms, a great taste! What's not to like? The pack of 90 are actually 15% off right now on Amazon. I get the pouch of 90 gummy worms because they stay fresher in the pouch than they do in the plastic jar. And if you sign up for Subscribe and Save you could save even more! And you know how you start feeling like it's bed time when you're watching TV late in the evening, but when you go to bed, it takes way too long to actually fall asleep? I also take the Olly Sleep gummies (25% off right now). These also taste really good and help me drift off to sleep. I'm usually out within 15 minutes of taking one. You can take two of these - Or you can get the Olly Extra Strength Sleep gummy now for 23% off.
If you give any of these a try, let me know how they work for you. I'd love to hear! Love, Ruby Today we made Pizzelles! It's been two years since I last made them. I forgot how long they take! They're super easy-peasy, but most traditional pizzelle makers cook only two at a time, so it takes a hot minute to cook a normal-sized batch. And I suppose "normal size" for me means for a family of six! My 4 children love these Italian cookies. They're not super sweet (as most Italian desserts), so you can put more of them away without the sugary crash.
My (ex)mother-in-law handed this recipe down to me when I took over baking the desserts for our Italian restaurant. I should just stick to the traditional citrus recipe, but I like to try other flavors. Still, nothing seems to beat the traditional lemony citrus flavor! With this last batch, I halved the recipe and added lemon extract to one half, and powdered cinnamon to the other.
I used my Kitchen Aid mixer to combine and beat the ingredients. It makes quick work and allows you to add the eggs and dry ingredients while it's still doing the work for you. I'll have all of my kitchen utensils that I used listed on my Get My Faves tab for your easy shopping convenience. Enjoy!! Ruby Hey Ladies!
Experiencing any symptoms? That’s a laugh, isn’t it? Of course, we are! From brain fog, ADHD, depression, and thinning hair to trouble sleeping, digestive problems, pain, and headaches. We ladies are running the gamut! Really, when was the last time we felt “normal”. Not feeling normal is the new normal. But really, we have a lot more help for these things then previous generations; and we certainly have more power in our voice now. Our mothers seemed to have suffered in silence. Very sad that Menopause has been so over-looked for so long. It’s real. It’s symptoms are real. And it shouldn’t be dismissed as something that we will eventually age out of. How do you deal with it? (Please comment here, or on our Facebook Group.) It’s good to know that we are now a powerful generation, demanding treatments that fit our needs. We are fed up with the quick fixes of a depression medication and red wine – though I, myself, admit to taking both. Side note: The medication is to level out my mood. Several years back, at the beginning of my peri-menopause/menopause journey, I started feeling a very unexplainable anger and disgust towards people I was friends with… people I loved and had relationships with. I talked with my doctor, scared because this sure wasn’t normal for me! I was diagnosed with PMDD and given a prescription for an anti-depressant. It took me probably about 12 months before really dialing in on the medication and dosage that worked for me. I felt empowered that I was speaking up and making these decisions for myself, instead of keeping this secret and continuing to feel crazy inside. It's been a few years now, and while my mood and emotions have leveled out to a point that I can control now (and other people can tolerate), I do still live with other symptoms. One that particularly bothered me was not being able to concentrate, to stay on task, while at work. Even at home, I bounced from chore to chore, not really finishing anything. I’d be distracted by something in my line of vision, or an incoming call that wasn’t even at my desk. I was desperate to find something that could block all of this out so I could stay head down and plow through my work. I enjoy a plethora of true crime podcasts and all sorts of music, but I found that even playing these into my earbuds at work still distracted me from work. I couldn’t concentrate on my computer screen AND the story being told in my ears! Then I found it: Musical Meditation My experience with this grew as I read articles and watched videos about it. My initial experience was at my massage therapist’s office… The ambient music that was played during my hour of massage was so conducive to the whole relaxing experience! So I looked for meditative music, ambient music, etc. Then I read an article about specific frequencies and how they can be used therapeutically. Girls, you would not believe how much data and research is out there about therapeutic frequencies and the benefits of listening for women of OUR AGE! I’ll be sure to have a few links on this on my YouTube Channel. Here’s just a snippet: What are the Solfeggio frequencies? The solfeggio frequencies are part of the olden six-tone scale believed to have incorporated sacred music, inclusive of the famous and beautiful Gregorian Chants. There are six main solfeggio frequencies. They are:
And perhaps this isn’t the thing for everyone, but it sure couldn’t hurt to try it out! I find it most helpful to play it in my headphones while sitting at my desk. It soothes my mind by taking up the subconscious, so my brain doesn’t have that space to wander from the task at hand. I don’t have the patience to meditate for long periods of time, so when I need to brush off some stress or anxiety, I just listen more intently to a piece of music for a shorter length of time, maybe 2 minutes, while doing nothing else except focus on my breathing and re-center myself and my thoughts. I would love for you to check this out. It’s such a simple thing to try – and completely free! Let me know in the comments here, or on our Facebook group what you think about this, and maybe what your favorite frequency is. I’m also going to link a range of items that you may want to check out that may help with your experiencing new frequencies; you’ll be able to find these on My Faves! Love, Ruby The Boxxle:
Ladies, you need this in your life! I don’t understand why boxed wine has such a bad reputation. Well I suppose I do understand. The not-so-pretty cardboard boxes that sit on your counter, or on your sink… They are just that – NOT pretty. And what a pain the arse to get a glass of wine whenever you want one. Admit it, there are most likely a few dirty dishes in your sink, so getting a wine glass under the box spigot is an issue. And if you like to run your wine through an aerator… well, you're out of luck, that's just not gonna happen! So my hubby found this for us. The Boxxle! It’s the best thing since sliced bread! Watch my video here to see how it works. No more struggling to get your glass in place. Looks sleek and modern. And the Boxxle dispenses the wine with enough pressure, you simply do not need to run it through an aerator anymore! And with the holidays coming up, lots of company and celebrating, you’re going to want to have this on hand! Don’t forget to gift it to your best girlfriend, too! You can thank me later! Love, Ruby My Valentine's Day came early this year. Because my youngest daughter schedule is that she will be with me on Valentine's Day, my man and I set a date for the Tuesday before V-Day.
It was nerve-wracking trying to keep my excitement contained throughout my work day. Feeling only a little bit of anxiety... Should I do this? ... Should I do that? If I've learned anything about Randy, it's don't overthink things. Keep it simple! As soon as I walked in the door of my apartment, I realized that Sid the Cat had had a visitor at some point during the day, because there was a bouquet of roses in the middle of my dining table that hadn't been there that morning when I had left for work. (Nicely played, honey!) The menu (planned by Randy - because hey, I just really don't cook!) consisted of king crab, steak, etc... I couldn't resist a peak in the fridge. Even knowing what I'd see, the crab legs seemed to jump out at me and gave me a little start. Because yes, I WAS a king crab virgin. And YES, I will be indulging again! Yu-UM! This man... for as simple as he says it is, he sure makes everything seem so gourmet. Everything cooked to perfection and perfectly portioned and plated. Dinner, wine (Clos du Bois Chardonnay 'Lightly Bubbled'), conversation, cribbage.... I don't believe a more perfect evening could have been scripted. Everything fell together perfectly. I felt like this was my first real Valentine's Day. And in a sense, it was. I know it sounds cliche, but I truly thank God for putting this man on earth, and for allowing us to find each other. As we sat with full bellies, enjoying the last of the wine, chatting about whatever, he casually mentioned he had one more surprise for 'us'. Really?! The evening couldn't BE more perfect. I was wrong! He pulled a small package out of his shirt pocket and presented me with enso silicone rings (see the pic below). One for him, one for me, to wear on our right hands, as a sign of our commitment to each other. I couldn't have been more tickled. I loved it! I loved what he said to me, and I love what they mean. I love this man! (I think I've mentioned that.... maybe, yes?) Unfortunately, mine was a teense too snug to wear on my ring finger, but a teense to large to wear on my pinkie finger, so it is being returned and a size up has been ordered. I'm sooooo excited to get it back! So another phenomenal evening under the belt for this couple... And one indescribably perfect Valentine's Day! I wish you all a fantastic day full of love and affection. You're great and you deserve it! Happy Valentine's Day! Hey All! If you follow me at all on any of my social media sites, you will have seen before that I 've posted a link to Morning Brew. It's a daily newsletter that you can read while brushing your teeth. It brings a lot to the table, but keeps each post short and to the point. It's a fun read... There a daily brain teaser that I will sometimes share with my co-workers. Anyhoo.... the point of today's post is this: Morning Brew is having a Give Away: Just follow the link here and start sharing! You will have much better odds at winning one of these phones than you will the Mega Millions!
Sunday Date Day – October 14, 2018: Deadman’s Hill http://mancelonachamber.org/tourist/38-tourist/tourist/48-deadmans-hill “The period of early logging in the hills of the Jordan River Valley were marred by several fatal accidents. The last known and best recalled tragedy took the life of twenty-one year old Samuel Graczyk, known as "Big Sam." A fun loving lumberjack and soon to be married, Sam became legend on May 20, 1910 when he was killed while driving a team and big wheels loaded with logs down a steep slope at this site. The high point, with its commanding view of the valley, has since been known as "Deadman's Hill." The sign located at Deadman's Hill reads: "The period of early logging in the Hills of the Jordan River Valley was marred by several fatal accidents. The last known and best recalled tragedy took the life of 21 year old Stanley (Big Sam) Graczyk, a fun loving lumberjack soon to be married. He became legend on May 20, 1910 when he was killed while driving a team and big wheels loaded with logs down a steep slope near here. Anthony (Tony) Wojciechowski who was with Big Sam when he died is responsible for the accurate recounting of this legend. This high point, with its commanding view of the valley, has ever since been known as "Deadman's Hill." Historical researchers in Mancelona dug a little deeper to find out more information on Deadman's Hill and Stanley Graczyk. Death certificates identify Samuel Graczyk born May 5, 1887 in Germany to John Graczyk and Agnes Popech. He died May 21, 1910 at the age 23, unmarried. Cause of death indicates he was "run over by wheels loaded with saw logs. Killed in the woods; accidental." He was buried in Elmira, Michigan. It is believed that the first name of the man who died at Deadman's Hill is actually Samuel Graczyk, not Stanley. We are presently working on this mystery to find out why the sign reads "Stanley" instead of "Samuel," and will post our findings when we know.” This was our adventure today! The temperature was perfect and our adventure began with just a few clouds in the sky. On my way to my boyfriend’s house, the colors were popping! Grand Traverse County colors are at their prime. Heading north to Mancelona, the colors seemed already beginning to fade. I knew I would have to squeeze every ounce of color-lust out of this day since most were already past their prime. Pretty typical at these types of Fall-famous overlooks, were the masses of tourists. All with better photography equipment than the last. Picnickers galore. Dogs, toddlers…. Young and old came out today to enjoy the views. The views were there for those who sought them out. Meaning…. For me, being 5’3”, the fence was at just the right height to block my view. So even after this 47 year old jumped the fence and ventured as far as I dared to the steep drop off, the view was still very narrow in scope due to the overgrown (but beautiful) trees and other such growth between us and the valley below. It took some searching, but we were able to squeeze out a few good shots. And I somehow deleted the panoramic that I took! The best part of the adventure for us was the half mile trek down to the valley itself. These trails are marked as part of the famous North Country Trail. It was a beautiful and peaceful walk down through the forest. Towering and colorful maples and elms stretched far over our heads. And though there were other color-seekers and hikers coming and going on the trail, the meetings were few and far between so that Randy and I were really digging the peacefulness of the forest. At the bottom, after a quick kiss, (where Randy says “I figured I’d better get this kiss now before our trek back up the hill and you realize you’re mad at me.”), we ventured through the tall grass to see a small, swampy portion of the Jordan River. We stood there for several peaceful minutes, taking in the tranquility, the dragonflies skimming over the water’s surface, the trickling of the water sneaking through the beaver dams. The trek back up wasn’t nearly as bad as either one of us had thought it might be. We just took our time, stopping frequently to rest on a log at the side of the trail, taking pics of interesting things. And regardless of our sweatiness and breathlessness, the entire experience at Dead Man’s Hill is one that I wouldn’t mind repeating. After, of course, I’ve recuperated from this visit. After getting the heck out of Dodge, we ventured west to Bellaire, taking in more amazing hilltop views of the brilliant fall foliage during the drive. Every hill we peaked seemed to afford a better view than the last! We landed at Short’s Brewing Company and ordered two flights. Taking our time, we savored the rich and mild flavors of the different beers and debated the variances with each other. We people-watched and took notice of the fellow clientele, the way laid back wait staff and the super-hip ambiance of the brewery, made even more complete by its spook-tacular (Sorry! Couldn’t resist!) Halloween décor! Short’s definitely rates as another do-it-again experience! All in all, it was another great day. I got to be with Randy. We saw some amazing sights. Another brewery first for me. And after the long drive back, a quiet evening spent together …. scrambled eggs (“with some weeds thrown in”) and homemade English muffin bread and jam. And a pleasant game of Cribbage – though I was one point shy of not getting skunked! I’m hoping to enjoy another autumnal-focused weekend or two before Old Man Winter comes blowing in. I hope you're all able to do the same! Wow! What a weekend! I mean, I've accomplished a lot. Though you probably can't tell by walking into my house and seeing the view from my front door. It's pretty bad. Shoes and flip-flops scattered. Clean laundry stacked on the couch. Dining room table covered in mail and coffee cups and yes, crumbs from the breakfast toast. Sad, but oh so typical for our home.
So this weekend... yeah. Totally kicked butt! It's going on 7 p.m., Sunday evening, and we are still wrapping up a few things like getting the garbage and recycling gathered and out to the curb, getting dinner ready and on the table, taking the baths and showers and packing backpacks for school tomorrow, etc... And I may have another load of laundry yet to wash; and at least two more to dry. And while this is typical for a lot of households, I wanted to also brag about a few other out-of-the-ordinary things that I/we accomplished this weekend: 1. I went in to the office on Saturday morning and put in a few hours to get a tiny bit caught up. It's sad that the summer has snuck by and it sure didn't feel like summer-time at the office. Meaning: usually there is some kind of slow period between year-ends where I can relax a bit more. Maybe clean out the file cabinets and desk drawers. Take an inventory of what we have and what we need for the upcoming "Year End Season" (which lasts from about mid-October to mid-April). But this little trip to the office was pleasant and productive. It was quiet. I made myself a large, fresh pot of coffee. My wee one came with and played on the tablet quietly (surprise!) and I actually got some stuff done! 2. I single-handedly googled the instructions and then dismantled a casement window crank operator. Oh. Yeah. (This ties in with #3) I watched two YouTube videos and then dismantled that puppy. I owned it! In fact, I was so pleased with myself that I didn't mind... 3. Going to Lowe's with hubby. This is something that I don't necessarily like to do. Shopping with the spouse is really just a whole other post. Very possibly a four part mini-series, if you know what I mean. Let's just say that one time we went to Home Depot to get something and he decides to get an extension ladder, which he proceeded to carry around the entire Home Depot until we were finished shopping. There was simply no telling him that maybe he should put it down and come back for it when we were done. That was out of the question! That being said, you'll understand why the preface to our Lowe's trip consisted of a very short demand that Lowe's was the only place we would be going today. He complied. Though I was extremely disappointed that they did not carry any crank operator assemblies at all, we still ended up with a cart-full of various items. 4. I was also very pleased that I was able to find out the difference between a 15 amp outlet and a 20 amp outlet - because I wired them myself! Oh yeah! I also wired a new light switch. The story is thus: we have just seen our oldest daughter move out and our son has been re-located to the basement bedroom. Therefore children #3 and #4 no longer have to share a room. Actually, hey are still sharing while we are re-doing the two upstairs bedrooms. We have sucessfully repainted one room and have realized that the old outlets and switches are just plain ugly. So we bought some new crisp white ones at Lowe's today. I wired the switch sucessfully and then tried to wire the outlets, but had the feeling that something wasn't quite right. After some more Googling, I discovered that the new outlets were 15 amp outlets and the outlets I was trying to re-wire were 20 amp outlets. Then I remembered: The bedroom used to be the main-floor laundry room for the older couple that lived here previously. Though I was able to re-wire two of the outlets in the room, the other two will have to wait until we've purchased outlets with the correct ampage. And the look mighty fine! 5. I took down wallpaper border. Now that we have one bedroom pretty much done (except for those two outlets and finishing up the casement window crank assembly), we are starting work on the second bedroom. We've pulled the bunk bed into the middle of the room and have draped it with plastic and have begun the process of puttying all of the dings and dents. We have also taken down the old wallpaper border. I wonder if my sister remembers helping me put it up 12 years ago? It was such a cute Cinderella-themed border. All pastel pinks and blues. I loved it! Though I'm not sure if the kids ever did. I knew this task was coming eventually, and I absolutely dreaded it! BUT... we have discovered a product that I absolutely love: Piranha Wallpaper & Paste Remover Liquid Spray. The border came off sooo easy. We were done - completely done taking off the border - all of it - in less than 30 minutes (and that included a break for toast and coffee)!! I've had to take down wallpaper before, which consisted of a process of scoring, soaking, steaming, scraping miniscule pieces of wallpaper along with not so miniscule pieces of drywall off the wall, shedding some tears and then doing some more scoring, soaking and steaming.... I hated it!! But alas! That is done, with pics to prove how long it was on the wall. I must say again, that I'm feeling pretty accomplished. Keep in mind that these things that I've listed are simply things that I had not planned on doing this weekend. I did also do a whole lot of other stuff that are my weekend chore list staples: groceries, laundry, banking, etc. You know. All the stuff us moms just do. It's ingrained in us. What else could we possible do? Sit by a sun-shiny pool and sip Chardonnay all weekend with a stack of our favorite novels at hand? Psh! Yeah right! What did you do this weekend? A couple of days ago I was scrolling through the AOL. homepage when I came across this: "How to get Emma Stone's Super Pretty Bombshell Blowout from Last Night" 's red carpet event. And there is the beautiful and young Emma Stone. Her glamorous profile showing off her very glossy, healthy looking, gorgeous tresses, with of course, the teaser of "famous celebrity hair stylist reveals the rinse-and-repeat regimen she teaches to her clients..." I was intrigued. . . And after looking at Emma's hair and nose and eyes for several seconds, I clicked on the link. I read the common sense "advice" which was basically to lather-rinse-repeat-but-rinse-really-really-well. Duh! I would love to know how much this "professional hair stylist makes for lathering and rinsing Emma's hair! And then I clicked on the link in the last paragraph: Top Ten Summer Hairstyles. Though the summer is half over with, again, I was intrigued. Is it just me, or are these girls all very young? So these "top 10 summer hairstyles" are for 6 to 24 year olds who do nothing on their summer break except for hang out at the beach and/or the mall. Not one of these would have gotten me in the door at my office. Okay, maybe if my office were actually The GAP, then any one of these lovely hair-dos would fly. But certainly not in real life.
Which led me to the question: Are there any good beauty sites out there for middle-aged women? Sites that give real advice for real women on how to apply make-up to our thinning, sagging faces. Or sites that can show us middle-agers some hot new summer hairstyles that are age appropriate and that won't get us laughed out of our offices - or the grocery store. I wondered. . . And then I Googled. This is what Google came up with: 1. 5 Beauty Tips for Older Women (on HowStuffWorksdotcom) - This was obviously written by someone quite young and without much couth. Molly Edmonds uses phrases like this: "However, not every piece of beauty advice is as evergreen. Just as your face and body change as you age, acquiring wrinkles and age spots, so too must your cosmetics regimen." I don't know about you, but I was a bit offended. Her mother must have been on vacation when Molly received this assignment and the poor girl had no one to get Older Women make-up tips from, so she invented them. 2. The second link was: Older Women Makeup Tips - How to conceal wrinkles, crow's feet, crepe-y lids & much more (on Aboutdotcom) - Most of these tips are taken straight from Glamour magazine and just applied to "Older Women". I've heard of all of these before and there is nothing new to learn here. Apparently the beautifully aging face of Susan Sarandon is supposed to make us all feel right at home here. I wonder how much Julyne Derrick makes being the beauty expert for Aboutdotcom? 3. I stopped at the third link because it seemed to be written by someone who has a knack for writing. It seemed she is actually one of us and s able to convey her tips and thoughts without being insulting. Instead, she kept me wanting to read more and adopt her way of thinking about her love of make-up. Beauty tips from a middle aged diva by Melinda Maher on Examinerdotcom. Melina included a photo of Mandy Moore. How's that in comparison to Susan Sarandon? I absolutely loved her last line: "My goal is not to look ten years younger, but instead, to be the best-looking 51 year-old I can be." Obviously #3 is my top choice for beauty advice. Though none of these were actually beauty sites, I got the most out of Melinda's post. It was a pleasant read and I didn't feel like I was separated from the masses. Instead, I felt like Melinda was a kindred spirit for all middle-aged women who, probably because of her age, was able to convey genuinely helpful tips that can help any of us girls feel more beautiful. And she did it without making it sound like we're all a bunch of pine trees! We used to have a restaurant. For the last couple years that we owned it, it was open for lunch as well as dinner. We would get business people in their suits and skirts, shoppers that would wander down from the Front Street shopping district and tourists from the hotel across the street. And we got old ladies. Groups of old ladies. Very pleasant old ladies. That is until you served them soup. The soup was made in the kitchen and then brought (while it was fresh and hot) out to the server’s station to be kept in the double boiler. Same routine every day. Same temperature every day. The only thing that varied daily was the soup du jour. These ladies, sometimes in groups of twelve or sixteen, as they liked to play Bridge for a little while during their meal, would all order soup. And they all complained. “This soup is cold.” It was hot, trust me. It was steaming and nobody else ever complained that it wasn’t heated to their liking. These complaints resulted in the server reheating sixteen bowls of soup in the microwave one or two at a time. And of course, this prolonged the time and created more complaints because they could not all partake of their soup at the same time. Lord forbid that some of them finished their hot soup before the others. But…… Now that it’s been a few years, I’m starting to think those old ladies weren’t that batty after all. I honestly don’t think it was their fault that they felt the soup was not hot. See, I found the perfect soup crock for my office. It perfectly fits a can of soup and it has a rubber, vented lid – perfect for the microwave! And it’s a really pretty sunshine yellow. Almost as golden as the sodium-filled noodle soup I just ate. So I’ve been bringing soup to work over the past couple of weeks, in exchange for the frozen Lean Cuisines I’ve been eating, just to change things up a bit. I pour the soup in, snap on the lid and set the microwave timer for 45 seconds. Take off the lid, stir and then heat for another 45 seconds. At this point the crock is hot to the touch and the soup is steaming. But I take off the lid again, stir and enter another 45 seconds on the timer. So now the timer has sounded about a minute or two ago. The crock is definitely hot to the touch and I try to hold the handle so that my knuckles don’t graze the hot crock wall. I get it back to my desk and open the lid. It’s steaming like crazy! Crush up some crackers. Sprinkle them in and ….. First slurp? Warm. Maybe slightly more than warm. But undeniably not hot. And you just can’t stomach Butternut Squash Bisque at room temp! It’s impossible! Which leads me to this question: Does your tongue lose sensitivity as you age? I must be the first person to ever pose this question to Google. Because all the Google search provided was stuff like this: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/do-your-taste-buds-change-as-you-get-older.html http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/004013.htm The links that popped up led me to articles about losing taste buds as you age, and the remaining taste buds in your mouth atrophy (or shrink). Fabulous! Your taste of salty and sweet foods goes first. Great! Which means that you’re probably craving more salt on your foods than you have before. You may also be finding that you’re enjoying more hot and spicy foods than you did in the past because you’re having a harder time enjoying foods that are blander. How many of you are sitting there right now going “Yep. Yep. That’s totally me!”? Though I found no answers to my original question, I have to believe that my theory is correct. Your tongue must lose sensitivity to high-temp foods as you age. Soup made at home, set on the table and ladled into bowls seems perfectly well-heated – it more than likely just came off the stove top - and we adults are able to slurp it off the spoon without much blowing. The kids however, require sometimes up to three ice cubes before it is adequately cooled enough for them to handle. I promise to continue my research on this ever so interesting topic. And until I can come up with some legitimate answers, I will heat my soup in four increments of 45 seconds, rather than just three. I guess those nice old ladies really know what they were talking about after all. Please take a moment to check out the new widget to the right. Caring for Kelsey is a fundraiser for a young girl in our area with a very rare blood clotting disorder. Take a moment to click on it and read her story.
There are many ways you can help: donations of cash, silent auction items, baked goods for the bake sale. You can leave a comment here if you'd like to help with this effort to support Kelsey and her family. So here’s a March of Dimes PSA. It’s only 30 seconds. Watch it. When did scheduling a delivery become an option? Obviously I know that sometimes pregnancies don’t go as planned. Unfortunately there may be complications with the baby or the mother – or both, so scheduling a Cesarean delivery or an induction would be necessary. But when did it become okay to schedule a delivery early – before the 40 weeks of gestation are complete? That was never an option for me. Maybe it was an option, but I sure didn’t know about it. Even if I had known, I’m sure I would have chosen to carry my babies until I went into natural labor anyways. My first was two weeks late and under the doctor’s recommendation we induced. A Thursday evening appointment to start the progestin gel turned into an all-nighter. Little Miss Monica was born about 12 hours later. In doing what I thought was best for the baby, I declined the epidural and took only the whatever it was that was supposed to take the edge off. Knowing what I know now, I’m assuming this is a very funny thing for the nurses in the maternity ward. “Ha ha ha! She turned down the epidural! Ha ha ha! What a fool!” Epidurals were always thought to have an effect on the baby when the mother took the epidural during labor. And I really don’t know, I suppose they could, but I would say that they were definitely not lasting effects. After three normal, healthy pregnancies and doing what I thought was right, I gave birth – with extreme pain – to three normal, healthy, beautiful babies. During my pregnancy with my fourth child, my husband and I had a “sane”moment when we decided to stop at four. And since he is such a big baby when it comes to doctors and needles, I planned on being the one to undergo the voluntary sterilization. In my planning, I figured that since this will be my last child and since I would be going under the knife shortly after giving birth, I would go ahead and get the epidural. My obstetrician promised me that, with the epidural, I would be able to get my tubes tied without having to be put completely under. Well, as was usual for me and my labors, contractions began in the evening hours. My three kids were in bed and I was laboring as quietly as I could. It had always been a fear of mine that I would show up to the hospital only to have them tell me “Go home, lady. It’s gonna be a while. A loooong while.” So I labored. All. Night. My husband finally got antsy enough where he insisted we call Mom and then go to the hospital without waiting for her to get to our house. (Keep in mind, the kids were sleeping soundly and we did wake our oldest to let her know we were going and to wait up for Grandma. She was 14 at the time and she only had to wait for roughly 25 minutes. It’s all good.) The drive to the hospital I really don’t remember, though it was late January. I do remember my husband hitting every bump. When we got to the hospital, our triage nurse was a mom that I knew from our son’s football team. Thankfully (or not) I was in too much pain to feel “awkward” about her doing her thing. She went about her business and treated me with gentleness and courtesy and asked if we had any special requests. I chirped right up and said,“I’ll be getting my tubes tied, so I will take the epidural just as soon as I can.” After the triage unit in emergency we were admitted to our own room in the labor and delivery unit. It wasn’t much longer that the anesthetist showed up to administer the epidural….. IT. WAS. AMAAAZZING! It is of my own utmost personal opinion that epidurals should be a menu option at any and all salons – nationwide. Best time of my life! I didn’t feel a thing. I rested “like a baby” between contractions. It was the best however-many-hours of my life. (Okay, maybe not THE best. But still, a close second?) I didn’t hear my husband talking about football scores with the doctor. I didn’t hear him watching the monitor, “Oh, here’s another big one!” Though I did finally hear “It’s time to push.” “What? Really?” I couldn’t feel a thing. One push and …. Next thing I knew, I had a baby in my arms and she was just as perfect and beautiful as my other three children. Gorgeous, beautiful, angel from above. My sweet baby. (I will save my tubal ligation story for another time.) Though I suppose I’m not really making a point, I’d like to say that it just baffles me beyond belief that pregnant women would not realize how much risk they are putting on their babies’ health by choosing, for their own selfish reasons, to give birth earlier than nature deems the right amount of time. The female body is made to begin contractions at exactly the right time. I don’t know if I just had old-fashioned doctors, but scheduling my deliveries for when it was an opportune time in my datebook was NEVER mentioned to me. My doctor always had a plan: If you go into labor…. then do this; If you go into labor at that time….. then do this…. It was always clear, cut and dried. There will be no giving birth early just to save a few stretch marks! My hope, of course, is that all babies would be born healthy; full-term, as nature intended. And I know that there are times when this is just not possible. However, to forego a full-term pregnancy for just whatever reason is, in my opinion: Purely Selfish. What’s your opinion? Feel free to leave comments here on My Super Mid-Life, or on my Facebook page, or on Twitter. Oh Joy! Here it comes again. Already! Free and clear for a total of 4.3 days and I can already feel the cycle beginning. If I’m honest, though, I should say there isn’t a beginning: because it never seems to end. It’s relentless! And even though my cycles are seemingly always off now anyways, this one is different because my Irritability stage isn’t right on the tail of Aunt Flo’s visit and usually it is. Regardless, today, I am most definitely irritable. Also, I’ve got the Fog Brain going on, which is typical for a Monday. It’s always difficult to answer questions about the week before, or even the dreaded “What did you do this weekend?” My response? “Duhhh, …. Not much.” I can never remember. I don’t know if it’s fog brain, or if it’s because I’m in a completely, completely different frame of mind between home and work, and it’s hard to think about one place when you’re in the other. Or maybe I’ve just never had a very good memory. Most likely it’s a combination of all of the above. But today most definitely began with the old fog brain and I can feel myself, with every phone call and/or question becoming more and more irritated. I’m rolling my eyes, to myself of course, as most of these irritating questions are coming from someone on the phone. And there’s the Breakout. That may just possibly be because of the half jar of Nutella that I’ve shared with the kids, but then again, that is a result of Cravings. Let’s not forget the Bloating and Soreness. I’ve gained enough weight where I don’t really notice the “bloating”, unless I count the swelling of my feet. They are for sure bloated; kind of like a week-old body in the Detroit River. And I only notice the soreness when I run up and down the stairs, when I take my bra off, or when I’m in the shower. The shower is a standard-sized stall and it doesn’t allow for much maneuvering when the girls are trying to avoid the direct piercing stream of water. Ouch!
I rarely have cramps and lower back pain anymore. At least, not like I used to when I was a teenager. Those cramps used to knock me off my feet. Literally. I passed out many times from the pain - and probably more likely the low iron. Hey, I was a teen. What teen eats their greens? It was because of all these “fainting syncopes” that the Lansing MEPS station denied me entry. (Just think: Me, a soldier!) **Aside: After high school, I had a job at an outdoor sporting goods store. We sold live bait and it was typically my job to come in early and clean the bait tanks. Seriously gross by any standard! Occasionally, while dipping the dead minnows from the tanks, a live one would get excited and flip itself out onto the plastic mat and flop around. I dreamt one night that I was a minnow flopping around on that mat; arching my back, back and forth and back and forth. I woke myself up from all the flopping and discovered that my back hurt most severely. Teen PMS years were not fun years. So yeah, things have changed; and are still changing. I don’t know which phase to hate more. Teen PMS or these fabulous middle-age years… My advice? Hang on to the girls, girls. It's a bumpy ride! This is art? If this is art I will gladly put my entire house up for auction. It would come complete with over-flowing trash cans in the kitchen as well as the bathrooms, unmade beds, dirty clothes and dishes where they oughtn’t be, dirty carpets and rugs and disgusting sheets – though I can’t say ours currently have any unidentified stains in the middle of them. Shoot! I’ll even bottle up the smell of hamster urine that emanates from my daughter’s room. I can understand that some people (aka: crazy people) might look at this mess and deem it a work of art. Maybe this is what the term “glorious mess” was actually meant to summarize. But really, the “artist” apparently woke up one morning with a great hangover and took a one-eyed, painful look at her room and thought that what little she could remember of the night before had been so amazing that she wanted desperately to let everyone know. So rather than taking the proverbial selfie to encapsulate and distribute this grand reminiscence, she rings up her likely drunken “agent” and says, “I’ve just had a glorious epiphany. You need to call the Tate and have them put my craphole bedroom on display.” How does this actually happen? How does someone pay $4.4 million dollars for a used bedroom? Just so you can look at it? Look at it?! I’ve been trying to unload some bunk beds for close to a year with no luck and for way less than 4.4 million dollars. Well hopefully whoever had the final bid will keep the mess in Great Britain. Please don’t bring it to the U.S. I hope we have a little more pride than that, than to display our messes and stained laundry to the public. Please keep in mind that I’ve posted the above photo and this link, not to in any way support or give more publicity to the whole kardashian-level debacle, but so that you can look upon this “art”, as I did, with mouth agape and a look of disbelief on your face (you’ll know what I’m talking about). There’s also a short interview with the “artist” herself. Supposedly this “piece” that she must have spent many painstaking hours and days creating, really marks a time in her life that is past. Really? That’s deep. I continue to sit here and shake my head in astonishment. I’m not completely sheltered and naïve. I know there are super weird sculptures and paintings and carvings and creations out there that are considered art. So I think that what gets my goat here is that this “piece” wasn’t created by any kind of talent or working process. The artist had no idea she was creating anything – because she wasn’t creating anything. It’s a mess, plain and simple. A mess that came about from her “tumultuous personal life”. In other words, she got around and partied a lot. Therefore she wasn’t making any money. And she chose to do this instead of picking up a paintbrush and working to create something awe-inspiring. All I’m inspired to do is get out the disinfectant. Now really, who has the number to Christie’s auction house? I’ve got some bunk beds to sell.
I'm giving myself 16 minutes to write this post. It will then be 11:00 p.m. and most definitely bedtime.
I've been wanting to update and I've jotted many ideas down to thoroughly entertain you all. But when I get home from work, my brain and motivation and entertaining thoughts seems to float away into the blue sky like a child's balloon. I park the car and come inside. Put down my bag, phone and keys. Find a nice pair of stretchy pants. And then exhale. Gone. All thoughts, funny, serious, what have you, are just gone. I'm now in relax mode. My sincere apologies. I built this site with many good intentions. What's that phrase? The road to what is paved with many good intentions? (Sigh!) That is fleeting as well. 11 minutes left. She's gone. With no fanfare. No tears. No hugs good-bye. She's just gone. It's been a work in progress for a few weeks now. So unlike the last time she moved out, this time was thoroughly planned in advance. Aside: Last time there was a lot of anger. You know, one of the those dramatic teenage moments where she decides that her freedom is way more important than washing dishes. Oh yes, there was anger, but then, there were also a lot of tears - at least on my part. She was only gone for a week, and then suddenly decided to move back when we informed her that she either move back and be part of the family and do her fair share of the chores, or we would be packing all of her stuff and leaving it in her friend's driveway. She moved back the next day. I'm sure she still has some stuff here, like her collection of Seventeen magazines and some dirty laundry. But she's gone. She's very near by and still surrounded by family to keep a close eye on her and her activities, so I'm really not much worried. Though I did call her two night ago to warn her of the severe weather they had been predicting for the overnight hours. I asked her if she had a flashlight and batteries, candles and matches, and a clear path to the basement - just in case. She was fine. Though it did rain and lightning and thunder in the wee small hours of the morning, it never seemed to get as bad was predicted. I'm fine with it. She is obviously totally fine with it; having her own place for a while, cooking her own meals and washing her own dishes. It was time. And while I'm sad that she's not here with me in our house, I am very glad to see that I've raised her to have a level head on her shoulders and a good work ethic. And I know that she will make good decisions (most of the time), and that she will learn from the bad decisions. I would normally now find a picture to post of us together, but it's now 11:03 p.m. and I still need to brush and floss. Good night all!! **If there are any spelling/grammatical errors, I apologize for those. I was literally in a rush to publish before bedtime. G'nite! I've been away for a while. This is what I've been doing. Pinning. I began Pinterest an undetermined amount of time ago.... didn't see the point and let it sit.... then began pinning "for inspiration"... then again, let it sit for a longer time.... and now.... I'm very much back at it. I toggle between tabs: Facebook. Pinterest. Facebook. Pinterest. Throw in some laundry. Facebook. Burn the garlic toast. Pinterest. Laundry in dryer. Facebook. Burn the second batch of garlick toast. .... My life as a shut in .... Which is why I thought it was strange..... I took one of those stupid quizzes on Facebook: What Color is Your Aura? What Two Words Describe You? What Country Should You Live In? I got Brazil: You are an adventure enthusiast, who likes to party, and enjoy a wild night out. You appreciate a culture with a vivacious lifestyle. You are drawn to warm climates, and love being near the water. Sitting at home is not your ...style. You'd rather be doing something active or walk around the city with friends. You are fed by good conversation and have a strong personality. Your motto in life is, "Life is for living" and in Brazil you are surrounded by others who share your passion. Though this doesn't really reflect the true me (I was sure I would end up with Italy), it did get me thinking, a.k.a.: depressed. How can I travel to such a wonderful, colorful, spirited and hot place? Tomorrow is offically the first day of Summer Vacation for the kids. And thank goodness it's still on the not-so-hot side of Spring. Because I am SO not ready for bikini season. I haven't actually been ready for "bikini" anything since the age of 19, but you get my point! It was a very long (extremely long) winter. And it just so happens that I have an enabling spouse. Good in some respects: He pretends to understand the stresses of my job and the stresses of motherhood and the stresses of having children that are just like him. Bad in other respects: He's making me fat! He's a cook. His mother is a cook. It's all they've ever done and they do it well. Did I mention they are Italian? Pastas, sauces, meats, ragus, salads.... oh, and wine! Wine seems to be a magic cure all. Kind of like my bedroom seems to be the catch-all for all of the shoes, toys, books and laundry that doesn't have a permanent home elsewhere. Wine will soothe away the days hardships. It will make Mommy in an instantly better mood. Wine also adds to the waist-line. So when you mix the extremely cold, eight-month-long winter, with deeper than average snow falls with a near-nightly dose of Moscato, you get a woman who is has never been fatter. For real. I topped out at xxx.x pounds when I gave birth to my 4th child..... I am now slightly over that. This really sucks! Sucks major!! Because at my age, it's really stinking hard to lose weight. So now I'm here. All of last summer's clothes are too snug. Nothing fits. There are certain ways I can stand, walk and sit. What's really weird is that last summer I was pinning my pants because they were too big. Now? I'm needing to invest in a few pieces that are slightly larger just to get me by. Just recently I've broken two underwire bras. Not necessarily because I'm bigger, I mean, they were older/oldish bras. But typically, underwire just kind of works it's way out of the little compartment, doesn't it? Two bras, within a month, literally just snapped in half. So, yeah, I went and got two new ones. They are really nice, comfortable.... and too small. I got them in the same size as I always have, but .... I know there are some girls out there who may be jealous, but really, you don't want this kind of trouble. Remember: The grass is always greener.... I wouldn't mind a nice C-cup right now, but, sadly, that may not happen until I'm 80. I'm trying to enjoy what God gave to me, but when it's kind oozing out the sides and then only one is over-flowing the front, it's kind of hard to be over-joyed about that. What happened to the days when I could pull on a v-neck t-shirt and see symmetrical cleavage. Now the girls are just out of control. I'm very sad about this. But not sad enough where I'm going to challenge myself with a deadline and all that crap. I've actually done that a time or two - or three, in a public-type forum, and have regretted it deeply - or simply brushed it under the carpet and whistled a little tune while walking the other way..... But really. I need to start taking things a bit more seriously. Like cutting out the wine, and stop eating so many potato chips and other sodium-filled foods. It's going to be hard, but right after Father's Day, I swear, I am totally going to get started. I will start by making a list of foods I can get that will be better for me to eat while I'm at work, rather than the frozen meals I've been getting and keeping in the freezer. Carrots, celery, ranch dressing, granola bars.... and here is where the list begins to digress. Simply, I need to be more self-disciplined. I've never been one to "diet". In fact, whenever the spouse jumps on the band-wagon for the newest "fad" diet, I cringe. As I mentioned before, he's a cook. And he's Italian. Which means: he can make some seriously yummy pizzas. But I've seen the guy eat the toppings off a slice of pizza and then throw the entire crust away. Sorry, but in my opinion, the crust is up to 90% of the glory of pizza. You simply cannot do that. ** In trying to wrap this puppy up for the night, I was trying to find a funny workout/rainy day meme that I had found on Pinterest. Well, apparently I've been Pinteresting too much and now I can't find it. Sorry 'bout that. :) Though I am definitely still in the amateur stages of writing, I've been working hard on getting this one up to par. I'm still in the "moving in" phase. I've got almost all of my crap here; now I'm just doing a lot of rearranging. I can't decide if I want this font, or this background. It's coming around. But I'm anxious to get it done, the way I want it to be done. Which, if any of you know me at all, could actually never happen. I'm always changing things around. Even in my real life. My living room, bedroom, shelves, kitchen cupboards. They all get switched around about once a year. We still look to the north wall of the dining room for the clock.... It's been on the east wall for over a year. Old habits die hard. If you happened to follow any of my previous blogs, you'll know that I was constantly changing things there as well. One thing that I've obviously never mastered in my life is Consistency. While being consistent in a lot of arenas can be a good thing, it seems to me that in some areas it's equal to being boring. I get bored easily with how things look and I want to constantly change that. (ok. I'm consistent with being inconsistent.) Changing the view, inside, outside and online, feels like I'm gaining a fresh perspective. It's refreshing. It kind of feels like I'm renewing myself too. I'm not a psycho-analyst by any means, but I think it's because.... Never mind! We're not going to go there right now. So one of the major things I'm waiting on right now is my photo. I absolutely suck at selfies and I'm just not very photogenic at all. So I've asked a photographer I know to help me out. Actually I've been asking her for at least a year now. I've been wanting a photo of me that looks nice, professional, yet casual that I can put on my blogs, my Mary Kay website, my LinkedIn profile and to possibly use if I ever decide to move forward on e-publishing my stories. I've never had any good photos of myself without them looking like they were taken 20 years ago. Well, it took a lot of bribing and threatening, but I finally got her to take my pictures. Right on my front porch. Now the real fight is on. I feel like I'm being held hostage; or at least my pictures are. I thought we could go through them right away so that I could pick which ones I wanted her to edit. Nope. She was busy. The next night? No. Working. Monday night? No. She was a bit grouchy when I asked her about it. She said we could go through them this evening and then she would edit them on Wednesday and I would have them by Wednesday evening. ... ... At this point she is currently sleeping on my basement couch. I'm seriously starting to doubt if I'm going to see these finished photos any time soon. I suppose that's what I get in exchange for a free service. This is me at Christmas. My sister cleaned out our old barn and surprised me with this last Christmas. It's a board that I had used during my years at the fair. I had pigs each year and the pig's name would be written vertically on the silo, and then it would hang above the pen at the fair. I hadn't seen this since I was a kid! Pretty nice memories.
After coming home with a full-blown headache from a busy and stressful day at the office, I hooked up with my sister at the local coffee shop (Bud's) that sits almost perfectly half-way between our homes.
We do this every so often. We meet up for coffee or tea and talk. It's a kind of therapy session for us. Whatever is bugging us, whatever we are dealing with at that point in our lives, or even if it's just a chance to get away from the everyday doldrums - we talk it all out. We himmed and hawed over what we should order. That's typically what we do. Usually several other customers will go in front of us before we decide to order almost exactly what we ordered that last however many times we've been there. We ended up sharing a Chicken and Spinach Arti'za (I think that means Chicken and Spinach Artisan Pizza), and we ordered a chocolately-mocha-coffee-something. Of course with whipped cream! Yum! Then.... we talked about jobs, husbands, kids, mom and dad, in-laws, vacations, grandparents, kids, purses, household appliances, our weight, mid-life, mom and dad, writing, kids.... we laughed, we exchanged advice, we asked questions. I don't think I could have a more honest conversation with anyone else in the world. I feel comfortable talking about whatever. And 'whatever' covers an awful lot now-a-days! I feel like I can ask her opinion about anything and I know she will tell me the truth. And because she's my sister, I know I can truly take her answer and handle it, even if I may not like it, because I know she wants the best for me. As I do her. My headache went away. My shoulders and soul feel lighter. And to think, we used to fight like cats and dogs when we were living together at home. It was when she went away to college that I think we really started becoming friends. She would call home for mom and dad and I ended up talking with her. I never knew I could come to like my sister so much. I think it might be the late hour that I'm writing this that's making me so sappy, and I think I've made my point, so I'll move on... After three and a quarter hours, we finally decided that we should be on our merry ways. I've got a full weekend of laundry to look forward to, and she's got work early in the morning. So we hugged and said "Good night." and "Drive carefully." and went our separate ways. Good Night Dear Sis. Love You! As the title suggests, I’m a sarcastic person. I’d really like to think of myself as a good-natured woman with a great sense of humor. But as of late, I’m more of a witch with a very sardonic sense of sarcasm.
I’ve begun the whole mid-life process. The emotional rollercoaster, the irritability, the night sweats…. I’m a normal female on a normal path through life, but when I used to sit and listen to my mom and her sister or her mother talk about hot flashes, I never in a million years thought it would be that bad. It wouldn’t happen to me like it happened to them. And I sure as heck wasn’t going to whine about it. I was wrong. Though I know I’m not even in the grips of menopause, I am very well into the beginning of peri-menopause. Meaning the pre-premenopause. And I don’t whine about it. I wine about it. But wining, or rather, self-medicating is not entirely my fault. About a year ago, my husband and I went through some crap. We now find ourselves on the better side of the crap. We’ve learned to communicate better and control our immature temperamental outbursts. While we are still far from perfect, we have worked a lot and it’s paying off. One thing I’ve learned about marriage is that no one knows how to do it, that is, have the perfect marriage. You don’t need to read any of those books written by psychologists or marriage counselors. You only need to remember that when you marry, it’s for life so you’d better find a way to work it out. As much as I dislike Dr. Phil, I always find myself asking, “How’s that working for ya?”You can’t just throw your hands up in the air and say it’s not working. You’re an adult, so if it’s not working, find a way to make it work. Back to my point… it was during this time that my husband finally realized just how stressed I had been for the past couple of years. Our four children are all in different steps of their lives and the three oldest kids seemed to all be hitting some rough patches at the same time. My job was getting quite stressful due to a new system that our two person department was implementing. And then the fact that my husband was unemployed and money was beyond ‘tight’ was just more than I was able to handle gracefully. Up until this point, I was never really a drinker. I still don’t think of myself as a drinker. I would have the occasional glass of wine or a mixed drink, but since I was either at work or at home most of the time, I never felt as though I had an occasion to drink. But then, one thing led to another and cheap white wine is fairly easy to find in most stores. And with my husband bringing in a steady paycheck, bills were being paid, kids needs and (some) wants were being accommodated; I found that there was enough to splurge on an occasional bottle of wine and it wouldn’t put us in a pinch. So I did. I felt more relaxed. A bit happier. My husband saw the difference. I have enjoyed some creative writing during the past several years and it seemed that my creativity blossomed while I was sipping my wine. My typing suffered. So much so, there were times I wasn’t able to decipher what I had written during the previous evening. Funny, but not. The worst thing about my new friend is the excessive weight gain. Which I understand is also a normal part of mid-life, but I don’t think “normal weight gain” implies that 20 pounds over the course of a long winter is okay. Literally, within the span of the winter months, I’ve have become someone I can’t stand to look at in the mirror. None of my pants fit. None of the sleeves on my blouses fit – and no way am I going sleeveless – like ever! I can no longer put my arms straight down by my sides. I have a six-pack on my back. It’s terrible! What makes all of this slightly worse, is that my period seems to come twice a month. That’s twice as much bloating and twice as much irritability, anger and emotions. Which makes giving up wine even harder now. But I have. I realize it’s somewhat premature, but I have given it up. I have not had wine in just over a week. I’ve begun to take very small walks with my youngest daughter. Only a year ago I was able to walk 5 miles in an evening. Only a year ago I was pinning my work pants at the waist line because they were too big and I didn’t want to spend the money for a new pair. How’s that working for me? Not well at all. In fact, I’m really quite irritated with myself for letting it get so out of control. I’m hoping my anger will fuel me. But after 42 years, I know I’m going to need a little more motivation than my own anger. I had hoped to find a dress for the company Christmas party and keep a picture of it to remind myself that I’m not going to look good if I can’t wear the dress. Last year, I had to squeeze into an old skirt and wear a big flowy blouse. It looked horrible! I won’t be doing that again. Lose weight and look good, or don’t go. And this applies to more than just the Christmas party. Anytime I want to go out with the girls or with my husband I don’t want to spend an hour trying on different combinations of clothes trying to find something that will hide. I’d rather spend an hour trying things on to see what flatters the girls better. I know that sounds shallow, but I used to be able to look in a mirror and like what I saw. Now I need an industrial strength underwire and something that covers my upside-down-heart-shaped ass. So wine, my old friend, it is time to part ways. I’ve indulged in your friendship and you’ve become a crutch; you’ve soothed my stresses, but only temporarily. My new friend is kind of boring and tasteless, but it won’t give me that bloated, puffy-eyed look in the morning. My new friend will help me gain my energy and self-confidence back. I will start feeling and looking more like a woman instead of the Goodyear tire man. And in about 7 months time, I should look pretty darn good in that party dress! Yay me! I have finally done it! I splurged. I now have a domain name.
Aaaah. It feels amazing! I've been blogging since 10-10-2010. Very amateurishly, and sadly, very inconsistently. I created my first blog after reading an article in Woman's Day magazine. Just another small article about small and simple ways to make some cash. It had been almost exactly three years since we had to close our restaurant and money was a painful subject for us. My husband did odd jobs. It had taken me nearly 9 months to find any kind of job. So yeah, money was all but non-existant for us at that time. And really, just over the past year have we really started to feel comfortable with spending a little. We have no credit cards. We have no cable television. We buy rice and popcorn in bulk at our local Sam's Club. Ain't nothing wrong with that. I really think we are happier now. It was a long, hard, dark couple of years. We struggled to hang on to our house. And though we have a ways to go on paying off the mortgage, we can make our payments on time with a little cash leftover. So back to my blogging...My first blog (www.sumofthisnthat.blogspot.com) was built and designed (and redesigned several times over) as a way to make some cash. I wrote about life, about family. I posted to Facebook and Twitter. My sister consistently read and commented on my posts, clicking on advertisements with each visit. It was very near a year before I saw my first pay out of one hundred dollars. But by then, I was hooked; bitten by the blog bug, so to speak. Also, around that time was when I was starting to realize that I was beginning my mid-life. Weird changes, emotional roller coasters, weight gain.... The second half of my life was looking rather dull. With the kids all getting older, I started thinking about doing things for myself. My brain, oddly enough, seemed to be suddenly realizing that I could do things for me: I could go grocery shopping by myself. I could lease a car on my own, and choose (within limits of course) what make and model I wanted. I could take college classes. I could hange out with the girls after work. A whole new world was coming together. So I decided I needed to be a little edgier in my blogging. I could talk about what I was going through. And a whole LOT of other women would totally be able to relate to me. And www.mysupermidlife.blogspot.com was born. Since both of my original blogs were tied together with Blogger, whoever had read Sum of This n That, could easily find My Super Mid-Life, and vice versa. Which meant that my 'writer's voice' couldn't truly be heard and I still had to keep my 'edgier' blog more on the PG side of topics. You know what it's like when your parents get smart phones. And they're in their 60's. And you post on your edgy blog about having some wine..... Next thing you know Mom is calling you: You shouldn't say that stuff in public. Dad is worrying now. He thinks you're an alcoholic. Really Mom? Thanks for knowing and trusting your daughter. Then your sister calls: Mom called. Her and Dad are really worried. Just don't mention drinking alcohol anymore. Mkay. And then I mention the emotional roller coaster that I'm beginning to experience, and all of a sudden there are a zillion comments from different family members: I'm so sorry. I'm praying for you. Keep your chin up! Oh no! What's wrong? Oh my gosh! Nothing is wrong. It's just, you know, that time of the month, multiplied by a million because you're 40-something! Thanks for the prayers and the kind words. I love you all. But really? You couldn't sense the sarcasm? Oh that's right. You can't. Because I had to keep it PG. Another year or two has gone by and we are not rich by any means, but I've been saving up for a few things. We've gotten our tax refund, and it occurred to me as I was checking my third blog (Yes I built a third. The intention there was to of course, be edgier (again), but this time keep it anonymous. That never seemed to go anywhere. I couldn't think of a good name for it. I couldn't ever come up with a plan of attack so that I could write about what I wanted, but people wouldn't know it was me. So part of my portion of our refund was put to getting my own domain. And here it is. Take a look around - though there isn't really much to see as of yet. Enjoy the font, the background and the colors - all painstakingly chosen. So again, here it is. I've given you an ever so brief history of how I got to this point. And I sincerely hope you will join me in talking about some of the ups and downs, struggles and triumphs of mid-life, spouses, kids, jobs, etcetera... I plan to continue building my blog and making it more readable and sharable, engaging and entertaining, and relatable. Enjoy! |
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